In our culture, we have been trained to think that men should ask women on dates, men then pay for the dates, and until there is a relationship established he should call her. Basically, he should make all the first moves.
In high school, I thought that was a ridiculous concept, Men and women should be equal!, I would think. Thus, I went around asking boys to hang out and kissing them. All I got out of that are the memories of a few silly relationships focused around liking the same music or movies and one amazing friend. (Yes, my high school boyfriend from when I was 16 is one of my closest friends to this day, and he even gives me dating advice. Go figure!)
I'm in college now, and somehow I had never really gone on a real date until this week when I went on my first according to the standards listed in paragraph two.
We met at the airport bar, realized we had the same round-trip flights to England, chatted over drinks, exchanged numbers, and upon returning from our travels he called to ask me to dinner. How romantic! Completely something movie writers would concoct for the next chick flick, except this is real.
We went to dinner, where we had delicious food and great conversation. After dinner I'm completely smitten about this guy. Neither of us wanted to end the night, so we opted for drinks at a nearby bar. Here's where the night went from romantic to nosedive.
Around drink three he started to tell me how much he liked me. That we should go skiing soon. Maybe wind surfing when the weather is nicer; he's interested in trying that. He tells me about sky diving. I say I'm terrified of heights, he says we can go together and it will be fine, I will "get over" my fear.
Somewhere around drink four or five (five was the last) he whipped out his mobile and said he wanted to add me on Facebook. At the bar. Sitting at the bar drinking a beer he says this. What!? I quickly shot that idea down, saying Facebook reveals too much information about a person, and that I didn't want him learning about me through a website and I didn't want to learn about him that way either.
To spare you the final details (which are quite humiliating on his part), the rest of the night just got horrendously worse to the point where I don't want anything to do with this guy.
However, I've definitely learned from this situation, and even created my first dating rules for myself:
1. No alcohol on first dates; I want a clear mind to learn about the person I am with. (And hopefully no more Facebook-mobile phone situations will occur, or invitations to go windsurfing the season after next.)
2. If it starts to go downhill, politely leave and reassess the situation later.
3. NO FACEBOOK. (For the reasons mentioned above.)
4. Delete his number if things didn't go well; no need to contact him if I'm bored later.
Well, I hope you have had better success in dating than I have (so far), and I hope I have many more dates in the future to enjoy and learn from.
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